THE SPARK
I recently watched a movie that stayed with me (cheesy but true). It centered on living deliberately, not drifting, not numbing, not waiting for “someday.” It focused on making the most of the time you have in the world. It made me uncomfortable in the best way.
We all know that time is finite, but I feel most of the time, I don’t actually live in a way that honors the time I have on this earth. It’s so easy to just go through the motions and exist on autopilot. It’s easier even than actually putting in work, trying, failing, trying again. I know I always use the excuse that I’m just too busy to do anything else or focus on anything else. It’s easy to do – but we shouldn’t confuse being busy with actually living. So as someone who has always relied heavily on my achievements, I have been thinking a lot about how I’m actually living, not just what I’m achieving.
WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE DELIBERATELY
It’s easy to say we should live deliberately, but what does that actually mean? I think it means choosing how we react to every situation. We can’t control what happens around us, but we can choose how we react to it. I think it means choosing our focus at the moment, choosing where our time and energy goes, acting with intention instead of impulse.
This looks like doing the opposite of sitting and scrolling on our phones all day and comparing our paths to others. I think it means resisting the rush that society places on us to figure everything out. I think it means choosing to be grateful for what we have, rather than complaining about what we don’t.
So what does all of this boil down to? A deliberate life doesn’t happen accidentally. It’s designed.
GRATITUDE AS A FOUNDATION (NOT A CLICHÉ)
Gratitude is a buzz word that has been circulating for a while. BUT it is so impactful when it’s used as a foundation for how we move through the world, rather than a surface level positivity.
Gratitude is attention training. It’s training your brain to focus on and then look for the positive in every day. It’s literally a way of seeing the world and moving through it. There is actual science behind how gratitude can change and shape your experience in your everyday life. It gives you chance to reset your mind every day and is proven to help stabilize your nervous system (this is for all my fellow anxious friends).
Your brain is always scanning for evidence to back up your thoughts. If you are thinking about abundance, you will train your brain to notice abundance and find more of it. If you dwell on and focus on negativity, your brain finds more of that too.
How do we train our brains to notice abundance? We put in the daily work. Daily gratitude journaling is how I started and what I am still doing. Of course there are days that I miss, but I can also tell when I miss a few days and start falling into negative thought patterns. It’s easy to do, but it’s just as easy to notice abundance if you give your brain the evidence. Start by writing 3 things from the day that went well for you, that you are grateful for, or that made you happy. Like maybe a situation you had been dreading worked out in your favor and wasn’t a big deal at all. That’s a huge win! Maybe someone at work was really kind to you and made your day better. Maybe you put in some extra work on a project and feel really proud of what you did, even if no one gave you credit for it. Maybe your coffee just tasted really good today and gave you a moment of joy. Nothing is too small.
Start noticing things and journal about them. I like to do this before bed to help myself wind down and get off my phone. It’s a good way to end the day on a positive note.
The bottom line? Gratitude shifts you from scarcity to sufficiency, and sufficiency creates inner peace.
I have something new in the shop – just for you! Grab the new Gratitude Journal HERE and start cultivating a positive mindset with me! It’s a high-quality hard cover journal with lined paged that are perforated to tear out easily. I am loving mine, I know you will too!
CULTIVATING A POSITIVE MINDSET (WITHOUT TOXIC POSITIVITY)
This was a hard topic for me when I was in a really low mental state and was trapped in negative thought spirals. Having a positive mindset DOES NOT MEAN pretending that everything is okay. You don’t have to pretend you aren’t stressed, scared, or worried about something. What it does mean is choosing the perspective with which you approach the situation. It’s knowing that the situation could always be worse and that dwelling on the negative isn’t helping you solve the problem. It’s being able to regulate your emotions so that you aren’t a complete emotional wreck when a situation arises. It’s feeling resilient and stable within yourself and having the confidence to know you can deal with the problems when they come.
This is a huge concept that I am constantly trying to grasp and I am not always good at this, but it’s important to know this tool and be able to use it.
Cognitive framing is changing your mindset around the situation. An example could be “This is hard” vs. “This is building me” Or “Why is this happening to me?” vs. “What is this teaching me?”
One thing I have learned is that self-talk is so important. If you talk to yourself negatively, how do you expect to ever have a more positive mindset? The stories we repeat to ourselves will shape how we experience life.
Your life is shaped by what you repeatedly believe about it. So let’s both choose right now to start trying to believe in the good around us, because we all deserve to feel peace, abundance, and gratitude.
FEELING ABUNDANT (EVEN BEFORE THE MILESTONES)
Abundance is not just financial. Abundance can come in many forms like time, energy, and relationships. It can also come in the form of creativity and opportunities.
We all get caught in scarcity mindsets from time to time, like “I’ll be happy when…” or “I never have enough time.” But those are just lies we tell ourselves.
Please know that you can be ambitious and abundant at the same time. Gratitude and ambition are not exclusive. You can grateful for what you have, while working for what you want in life.
Abundance is just noticing what’s already working in your life so that your brain will notice more of it and create more opportunities for it.
Bottom line: YOU ARE ENOUGH. When you feel like enough, you stop chasing validation and start building intentionally. You don’t need external validation from anyone else. Once you are at peace with yourself and quiet the war in your mind, you can figure out what you want from life and start actually building it.
WHERE PLANNING COMES IN
Most people think that planning is this rigid structure that is all about checking a box or filling a time slot. But it doesn’t have to be.
This is what planning is for me, and what I hope it will be for you as well:
- A gratitude practice (seeing what matters in my everyday life)
- A clarity practice (choosing priorities to focus on)
- A boundary practice (saying no to things that don’t align with what I want)
- A hope practice (believing in my future enough to prepare for it)
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PLANNING & PRESENCE
Planning is a form of faith in my future self. What started as a way for me to feel in control of my life and ease my anxiety became a way to genuinely care for myself and my future. It helps me be present, because my tasks and deadlines are accounted for and prepared for. It reduces mental load and helps me feel grounded and intentional, instead of rushed and impulsive. It helps me align my daily actions with my long-term goals.
Take a moment to consider this:
- Are your daily actions aligned with your declared priorities?
- Or are they aligned with urgency and scarcity?
HOW TO LIVE MORE DELIBERATELY THIS MONTH
1. Start a Daily Gratitude Line
One sentence per day in your planner or in the new gratitude journal (grab it here).
2. Choose a Monthly Intention Word
Examples:
- Present
- Enough
- Growth
- Peace
- Bold
3. Do a “Time Audit”
Where is your time actually going?
4. Create One Deliberate Habit
Not ten. Just one.
5. Plan Around What Matters
Block time for:
- Health
- Relationships
- Creativity
- Rest
- Learning and Personal Development
WHAT MATTERS
Time is finite.
You will not get this month again.
You will not get this version of yourself again.
But:
You don’t need to overhaul your life. You need to live it with awareness. And reading this post was a great place to start.
A meaningful life isn’t built in grand gestures. It’s built in ordinary days lived on purpose.
The movie that sparked this blog post reminded me that life isn’t something to prepare for endlessly. It’s something to participate in. I want to be grateful, not scared. I want to build a deliberate life full of wonderful experiences. I want to fuel my ambition with huge dreams and also make everyday feel like I am aligned in my purpose.
If you want help designing a life that feels intentional instead of reactive, that’s exactly why I created my signature program, Your Lifestyle Rebrand. It’s not just an online course. It’s a program that helps you grow as an individual, decide what’s important to you, and build a system for your life that helps you move closer to those dreams. You also have a support system around you (including me) with an exclusive facebook group for program members only where we can share our achievements with each other, encourage each other, and grow through every phase of life.
I hope to see you there.
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